Women Visiting the Graves.

Q; I heard that a women is aloud to visit the grave if she is acompined my her husband or brother or father and so on. I heard that the prophet(saw) said at first that women are not allowed but later on said it is best as it is a reminder for them.


A; All-Praise is due to Allah,

If you read carefully above in the Fatwa it states that this issue is a matter of difference of opinion. What you mention is amongst the two Scholarly opinions but the more revised opinion is what is stated above.

Shiekh Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajid said:
Concerning visits to cemeteries by women, scholars have varied opinions on this issue:

it is allowed or preferred and their case is similar to that of men

it is makrooh (reprehensible), which is the opinion of jumhoor ul-'ulemaa' (the majority of the scholars)

it is forbidden, this one probably being the strongest opinion, as indicated by al-hadith al-sahih in which the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Allaah has cursed women who frequent graves," related by Ahmed and Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah and in one version,

"Allaah has cursed women who visit graves and those who build mosques and place lights upon them." (related by Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa'i and al-Haakim)

This condemnation would warrant the validity of the argument against women visiting cemeteries as the lawmaker (i.e. Allaah) would not condemn something that is permissible or reprehensible—only that which is forbidden completely.

Regarding what would be the reason for this condemnation, the scholars have cited two main arguments:

Firstly, that women for the most part are emotionally weaker in accepting calamities and perhaps being in sight of her dear one's graves may break into wailing and loud weeping, which would be detrimental to her religious character and harmful for her body as well.

Secondly, cemeteries are oftentimes isolated places which may not be safe for someone being alone, possibly exposing a woman to people of corrupt or loose moral character.

In summary, the rationale behind this prohibition is that women are often not as strong emotionally in the face of calamities, and not visiting graves prevents them from the trial and from being exposed to unnecessary fitnah.

(See Islam Q&A Fatwa: 127)

Furthermore women are susceptible to wailing, and sadly we witness to much of this that is performed by women. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) mentions this in a Hadith, narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade wailing and said: “There are four matters of jaahiliyyah that exist among my ummah and they will not give them up: boasting about one’s forefathers, casting aspersions upon people’s lineages, seeking rain by the stars and wailing for the dead.” And he said: “If the woman who wails does not repent before she dies, she will be raised on the Day of Resurrection wearing pants of tar and a chemise of scabs.”

Commonly what is word widely spread in the ummah today, the women attending Funerals not only wailing but coming in a dress code that is completely unacceptable. This causes fitnah in a place which there should be respect and a place of reminding people of death. The many thing that is witnessed in these gatherings are women waring tight revealing clothes, wearing perfumes and allot even without Hijab.

Narrated by Muslim, 2128, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "there are two types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen: people with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, then she is such and such,” and he spoke sternly - meaning an adulteress. Narrated by Abu Dawood (4173) and al-Tirmidhi (2786); classed as saheeh by Ibn Daqeeq al-Eid in al-Iqtiraah (126) and by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

al-Mannaawi said in Fayd al-Qadeer (1/355):

“She is an adulteress” means: because of that she is exposed to zina, and implementing the means that lead to it and calling those who seek it. Hence she is called an adulteress in a metaphorical sense, because desire may prevail and real zina may take place. Her passing by men is likened to her sitting in their path so that they pass by her. End quote.
In conclusion it is far to say the more revised opinion out of the two is the one we mention due to the Shara'i evidences and to the reality of the fitnah that is behind it.

In conclusion it is fare to say the more revised opinion amongst the two Scholarly opinions in this matter is the on thats mentioned due to the various evidences that is related to this issue, and we ask Allah to grant us success.

And Allah knows best...