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Friday, 12 April 2013

Giving advice.

Q;Assalamu alaikum brother.. i have a personal doubt regarding my family... my maternal relatives are very deviant in character and duties of deen.. they consume alcohol.. engage in usury.. practice magic.. have no sense of hijab and are very abusive... anyway i live in a different country quite away from them.. my parents are not in talking terms to them because of this nature.. my mom also asks me not to talk to them.. but i was advised by a learned sheikh to just maintain a relation with them by talking over phone to obey the obligation of maintaining relations of womb... i am so sorry for this lengthy thing but its necessary for my query.. my question is how important its for me to do dawah to them... will i be held on qiyaamah for this as i dint advise them.. im very young in front of them.. my mom tried many times to take them to lectures and advise them.. but all in vain... and they actually twist and lie a lot in conversations... if i advise them only for my sake of it too.. they will get loud and i am not used to be answer back same way... its not that they dont know teh right thing.. they were previously on tawheed but deviated from it.. shall i just maintain a distance from them cuz of this nature... or will i be held for their doings.. please reply.. and my mom gets angry or hurt if i talk to them.. what is appropriate.. please advise...wassalaam

A; All-Praise is due to Allah,
Without a doubt it is an obligation to call people to Allahs Deen and to guide those to the right path, thus this has been commanded in the Quran as Allah says:

The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is good, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.

[At-Tawba 9:71]

It was narrated of Abu Sa`id that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith."

(Related by Muslim)

So one must strive in enjoining the good and forbidding the evil especially if it is a Muslim, but one must remember to give this advise with good manners and etiquettes using knowledge and wisdom not by being harsh and abusive. Hence this will turn this person away from the religion and make them have more hatred towards practicing Islam and Muslims.

As for your mother you must also be gentle with her and not hurt her feelings. You must try and explain this to her with care and manners that we are obliged as Muslims to aid our brothers and sisters form evil actions especially if they are family related . Allah says :

O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (hell-fire) whose fuel is people and stones..

[At-Tahreem: 66:6]

If your mother still does not except your proposal then it is still permitted for you to continue to give these people advice without your mother knowing. Just remember you are fulfil a obligation in Islam that does not need the permission of know one.

I ask Allah to reward you for your concern and intentions and may He The All-Mighty make it easy on you and give you success in your call to good.

And Allah knows best...

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